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Things I Want You To Remember

I’ve been gone a while. Things have gotten a little crazy now that we’ve added another baby to the mix and there’s rarely time to brush my hair or sleep-much less blog. But I’ve been wanting to write this post for a long time and tonight I’m finally making it happen. Last week I turned 30 and while I don’t claim to know everything-on the contrary I frequently feel I know nothing- I do have some important lessons that I want to be sure that I pass along to my children. Of course I plan on teaching them all of these things over the coming years but sometimes life can throw curve balls or sometimes your kids just think you’re an idiot and don’t want to listen to what you have to say. The latter is more probable but in either case, now I have these in writing for my own reference and theirs.

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My dear children, there are so many things that I want to teach you about life, but these are the most important:

1. Find your happy. Happiness is everything. It’s what everyone wants a few truly find. It’s not your spouse or best friend or your new car or house. It’s something that you must choose. You must wake up every day and choose to be happy. Some days will be easier than others and some days you will fail miserably. But always try. Learn to search for the good in things instead of focusing on the bad and you will attract good things and good people to yourself. I promise. 

2. Learn to love your imperfections. Don’t try to fit into any standard of beauty or attractiveness that the world sets for you. You will never attain it and that is a good thing. You don’t need a thigh gap or a six pack to be beautiful. Learn to love everything about yourself- most especially those things that make you different and be proud of them. Look in the mirror and LOVE what you see. Just like Dr. Seuss says, “There is no one alive who is Youer than You” and that is pretty amazing when you think about it. 

3. Put family first. Family is the most important. Period. You will hate them all at some point (and that’s normal) but don’t ever forget that they’re number one. Make time for them and spend time with them. Don’t ever let anyone talk badly about them. No one knows you like your family, no one loves you like them and no one ever will. 

4. Don’t marry the hottie. You know that gorgeous guy or girl that you can’t get off your mind? The one that you want to ask out (or maybe you did and you can’t believe they said yes)? Date them. Have fun with them. Get all you can from them. But DON’T marry them. These “beautiful people” tend to be crippled by their genetic luck and struggle with a constant need for that affirmation of their beauty from others. We all love some eye candy but that’s not who you want to raise a family with. Now, the exception to this rule is if they happen to be amazingly beautiful and unaware of it with a great personality to boot. If so, jump on that immediately because those are one in a million (just ask your father.)

5. It’s not the size of your house, but the value of your relationships. Try not to spend your life focusing on buying bigger and better things like houses and cars. These things are great but without people to share them with, what do they matter? Some of the loneliest people live in the biggest houses. Learn to love people and not things. Spend time playing with your children and laughing with your spouse. Tell your friends and family how important they are to you. Surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself and inspire you. Never forget that things are just things but relationships are what makes life worth living. 

6. Be crazy. Challenge yourself to do things that you normally wouldn’t. Leave your comfort zone every so often so that you can grow a little. This could be as simple as striking up a conversation with a stranger or skydiving (please wait until I’m dead for this though). Know who you are well enough to know what makes you uncomfortable and try it. You’ll be happy you did and you’ll learn more about yourself. 

7. Everything in moderation. You’re going to experiment. I get it. I don’t expect that you won’t have a drink before you turn 21 or sneak out past your curfew. Trying things is normal. But be conscious of your dependence. If you need something to make you happy, then there’s a problem. Addiction is a disease that creeps up quickly and takes so much work to fight. Live your life in balance and keep all things in moderation. There’s a time for work and a time for play and to much or too little of either of those two can cause problems. 

8. Don’t let your babies cry. If and when you have babies of your own (and I pray you do), you will enter the wonderful world of parenting where everyone has an opinion. You will have to choose your own way of parenting and no matter what that way is, you will have people who disagree with it. Whatever you choose to do, don’t let your babies cry. Don’t trust anyone who tells you to let them cry. Anyone who tells you that it’s possible to spoil a baby is wrong. Hold your babies every second that you can. There is never ever enough love and there is never enough time with them.

9. Pray. Whatever your religious beliefs may be, know the importance of prayer. Believe in a power higher than yourself and ask him/her for help when you need it. Prayer is powerful and your spirituality is important. Pray even when you think there’s no one listening because I promise someone is.

10. Never Forget : No one will love you like I do. I hope you live over a hundred years and that every single one of those years is full of happiness and love. I hope that you find a wonderful person to share your life with and build a family or whatever it is that your heart desires. But no matter what kind of love you find on your journey, none will surpass the love that I have for you. I knew you before you were born and I introduced you to this world. I know all there is to know about you and a part of me will always be inside of you. I love you more than all the stars in the sky and you will never escape me so don’t even try. 

Love,

Mama.

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It Happened To Me: Pregnancy Loss

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It’s been a few months since I endured one of the most devastating experiences of my life, a late miscarriage. I have chosen to share my experience not to gain sympathy or make anyone sad but to help other women that may be going through the same situation to feel less alone in their pain. Miscarriage is so emotionally damaging and very common. So many women go through it and I don’t feel like it is talked about enough. So, here’s my story…

I found out I was pregnant in August of 2012. My husband and I were elated. I loved being a stay-at-home mother to my then almost two year old son and couldn’t wait to watch our family grow. I knew it would be a challenge for him to get used to a new baby but I also knew it would be good for him. I didn’t want him to remember being an only child. Things were all falling into place just how I had always imagined for myself and how I knew they were supposed to be: two kids before I turned thirty and being able to stay home with them everyday. I was so blessed and so happy.

My husband and I had picked out names, told our son he was going to be a big brother, and announced the news to everyone around 10 weeks. I was never one to wait to tell people. I thought it was silly and bad karma, in a way, to be so scared that something could go wrong. I never thought that a miscarriage could happen to me. My first pregnancy was perfect with no complications or problems. I really loved being pregnant. I didn’t see any reason to worry and I didn’t have a care in the world.

I went in for my first trimester screening at 13 weeks and I saw our beautiful baby moving around on the ultrasound. I was so amazed by technology, life and love. The technician said that everything looked great and within a few days I received the testing results saying the baby was very low risk for any genetic problems. It was wonderful. I had also gotten used to bringing my son to the monthly doctors appointments with me. He was very interested in all that was going on and loved listening to the baby’s heartbeat.

On December 20, 2012 I put my son into the car and we were on our way to my OB checkup with some last minute Christmas shopping to follow. I was a little over 16 weeks along and feeling great. We got in to see the doctor and she got the Doppler out to listen to the heartbeat. This was the moment I was looking forward to for the last month, that precious sound of my baby’s beating heart. Before she placed the doppler on my belly, I remember her making a comment about how great it was that I could still fit into my regular non-maternity jeans, which were getting more and more uncomfortable. I laughed and said, “not for long!”

She began to move the doppler around and around trying to find a heartbeat with no success. She kept saying not to worry and that sometimes they “hide” when they’re this little. I wasn’t too worried until she said she was going to get the ultrasound machine. I could see on her face that she was concerned. The machine was rolled in and she placed the probe on my belly and I watched her look at the monitor. Then I knew something was wrong. After a few seconds of looking she said, “Lara, I’m sorry but I’m not seeing a heartbeat.” It hit me like a knife through the heart and I was in complete shock. I could hear my son in his stroller saying, “Mama, heartbeat? Heartbeat?” I guess he sensed something was wrong too. She turned the monitor around so that I could see it and I’ll never forget that picture. There was my beautiful baby. She wasn’t moving and slumped over, looking as if she was sleeping. There was no life and no heartbeat. It was terrifying and so final.

My doctor said she was so sorry and asked me if I could call my husband to come get me and my son. I said yes. I asked her if this happens often after the first trimester and she said that it was very rare. That made me feel even worse. I called my husband at work and he came to the office right away to pick us up. Those moments of waiting for him to get there while trying to hold it together for my son just seem like a big blur of pain now. I’m thankful that he’s young enough that he won’t be able to remember it.

My husband was in total shock too but was able to be strong for me. Men are so different from women and I don’t think I fully realized it until then. On the ride home I felt like I was living in a nightmare and just kept praying that I would wake up. I didn’t want it to be real. Life was so unfair. I had all these plans, all these things to look forward to and just like that- they were gone. I was carrying around a baby that wasn’t alive anymore. It was an unexplainably horrible feeling that one could not imagine unless they had experienced it. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

The next day, 12/21/12 (ironically, the day the world was supposed to end), my baby was removed from my body in a surgical procedure called a D&E (delivery and evacuation). I chose not to be induced and deliver the baby. I was under anesthesia so I never got to see her or hold her. The doctor said she was just about 16 weeks and measured about the size of my open hand. I was told that she looked completely normal and I was given a set of her tiny footprints to take home. It was such a devastating thought to know that I was leaving my baby in that hospital and that I would never see her, and never get to take her home. I knew she wasn’t alive anymore, but it still felt wrong. I felt like she should be with me. The same hospital that had brought my first baby into this world was now ushering my second baby out of it. I left the hospital that day a changed person. I knew that life would go on and that I would again know happiness but I also knew that a part of me died there.

When you lose a baby (or really anyone close to you), no matter how far along you are, you lose with him/her your sense of naïveté. The saying, “Ignorance is bliss” couldn’t be more true. You are instantly made aware of how fragile life is and how easily it is taken. You can never go back to the place you were before or continue to be the person you were. I will forever be thankful for the blissful and carefree pregnancy that I had with my son because I know that I will never have that again. As much as I want another baby and know in my heart that I will have one, I will struggle with anxiety and worry through the entire process.

A few weeks after the loss, my doctor called me with the results of the chromosome testing of our baby. She said, as expected, that all of the testing came back normal. This just solidified that fact that we will never have an answer “why.” The doctor also informed me of what I already knew in my heart to be true: our baby was a girl. The baby girl that I had always dreamed of and longed for was gone. It was like reliving the loss all over again but I was, and still am, happy to know and have closure on what was lost.

It was important for me to give her a name, Vivienne Guadalupe. I wanted her to know that she existed, that she was loved and that she would always be in my heart. I put her footprints with her name next to them in my bedroom and still look at them everyday. I don’t keep them there to make me sad but to help me remember what she and God have taught me: cherish every day, be thankful for what you have and know that the path you take in life has many twists and turns but it is your path alone and you have have no choice but to follow it.

In the past few months I have grown stronger. I have found some peace but I still have my tough moments. I know that time will continue to heal me but I also know from talking to other women who have gone through this that your heart never completely heals. It does help to know you aren’t alone and I have been lucky to meet many wonderful women through this journey who have been in my shoes. A friend of mine made an amazing video concerning pregnancy loss (you can watch here) that every woman who has miscarried should watch. Once you know loss, it changes you. I am trying to make sure that it changes me in better ways and not worse and it’s a constant struggle.

My son has helped me cope more than anything else. Watching him grow and flourish every day gives me strength and reminds me to live in the moment. Losing Vivienne has opened my eyes to what a miracle he really is. Ultimately, through all the pain and heartache, I still feel so blessed.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”-Joseph Campbell

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My High Energy Kid

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I became inspired to write this after reading a great blog post by The Mother Hudddle (you can read it here). In it, she talked about having a “high energy” child and I realized that I do too.

My two year old son is as sweet as can be. He is always happy, moving, singing, dancing, giving hugs and making everyone around him laugh from the second he wakes to the second he goes to bed. I like to think that I parent him with a certain amount of healthy discipline without trying to micromanage every single detail of his life. After all, he’s two. I pick my battles. As long as something isn’t dangerous or extremely inappropriate, it’s okay with me.
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As he’s grown a little and I’ve had more opportunities to see him play and interact with other children, I’ve realized that he is different than a lot of other kids his age. Not any better or any worse- just different. He has always been in need of constant stimulation. He has never been okay with standing still or sitting down. He will never go to sleep willingly. He wanders off when he isn’t strapped in a stroller. And I know that this does not have a thing to do with my parenting. He was born this way.

I remember when I first started taking him to story time at the library. He was about 6-9 months old and had just started crawling. He refused to stay with me and crawled right toward the instructor every time. He would cry when I tried to hold him in my lap. I looked around at all the other infants who were sitting happily in their mother’s laps while they did bounces and sang songs and I knew that this would never be us. Although my son was extremely attached to me before this, his curiosity and need to explore had taken over. And I was okay with that.
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We still go to story time just about every week and he loves it. His face lights up when we pull up to the library because he can’t wait to get inside. When it’s time to leave he always has a meltdown and I end up dragging him out kicking and screaming. It makes me happy that he loves it so much and so I continue to take him there even though I dread the tantrum when it’s time to go home.

Last week when I took him back for the first time since the library’s “winter break,” I had an unpleasant experience and- just for a second- it made me question my parenting. About 10 minutes into the session, he was standing up in front of the instructor’s seat (as he always does) and she said to him, “Tristan, don’t you want to sit down so that the other kids can see?”- a question that was clearly directed at me since he had no idea what she was saying. Basically, she was telling me to get my kid to sit down.

The first thought that ran through my head (after thinking about some things I’d love to say to her) was, “Should I be making him sit down?” I have tried this before and it just results in him screaming and going limp, and frankly, it just disrupts story time for everyone else there. And secondly, he may be standing up and not sitting in my lap like some other kids but he is fully mentally engrossed and engaged with what you are doing. Most of other kids were just wandering around the room. So after she said this to him, I tried to get him to sit, he flipped out and we walked out story time while he was throwing a huge fit.
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I felt bad for leaving. He didn’t want to. But I also felt angry that my two year old was being expected to stay seated. I know that there are plenty of two year olds that can do this but he isn’t one of them. As long as no one else’s experience is being ruined, why ruin his? I’ve decided that next time we go back I will let him stand as much as he wants and if they have a problem with it then I will talk to them afterwards. Sure, I can encourage him to sit, but if he doesn’t want to- what is forcing him going to accomplish?

Yes, he’s high energy. Yes, he keeps me on my toes every second of the day. And yes, it is exhausting a lot of the time. Yet he also amazes me at all that he can do. He really lives life more than anyone I know. Oftentimes I think that he was given to me for these very reasons. He reminds me to cherish every second, to always explore, to never settle and to love fully and without question. He is everything I never was as a child and all that I would love to be.
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So next time that he wants to wander, I will take him to a safe environment and follow him around. When he wants to dance, we will have an impromptu dance party regardless of where we are. When he wants to give kisses or hugs, I will take all that I can get. And when he wants to stand I will let him because sometimes life is too exciting to stay seated and that is okay. Actually, it better than okay. It’s wonderful. I love my high energy kid and, if you have one, I know you love yours too.

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2nd Year Love Letter

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My dearest Tristan,

Today marks your second birthday. I can’t believe it was two years ago that I was in that hospital bed patiently waiting to meet you. It seems like it was just yesterday, but then I can’t seem to remember what life was ever like without you. I will never forget the first time I saw you. You were screaming your head off and I couldn’t believe how much you looked like your daddy. I held you for the first time and felt a peace that I had never known. You were -and still are- so perfect. And all you needed in the world was your mama.

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I knew that you would be special and you would grow up to do amazing things. Every day since then you have amazed me in some way and made me feel proud. Most days I have a few moments where I just look at you and can’t believe you are mine. I feel so lucky to be loved by you.

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You have grown so much in this past year. You went from being a baby that I toted around everywhere to a very independent boy, anxious to explore and do things on your own. Recently, you have started talking so much more and you say the sweetest and funniest things. Of course my favorite is “love you, mama.” You also love to sing. I don’t think that there is anything sweeter than listening to you sing me a song. And your pride in yourself when you’re done just melts my heart. At least that is one trait that I can say came from me. Never stop singing.

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Sometimes it can be hard for me to let you do more things on your own. I find myself wishing you would just stay in my arms a little longer like you used to as an infant. But I’m always thankful for nighttime when you need me right there to hold your hand while you fall asleep and to cuddle in bed when you wake up in the night (yes, still every night :)). It makes me glad that you still want to come sleep in our bed because I would miss those cuddles. I know a day will come when you won’t want to. I hope that day is still far away. All that time I spent holding you as an infant, when people would say I needed to let you cry, I don’t regret one minute of it. In fact, I cherish it. Those moments are gone too soon and we can’t get them back.

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I’ve learned so much more about you this year. I can see glimpses of the man you will someday be. A bit controlling with the kindest heart, smart, very funny and a natural performer- just to name a few things. My favorite part of you is your kind heart. I like to think it had something to do with your daddy and I nurturing you in every way we could and I hope that it never changes. You are one of the friendliest little boys I have ever known, always expecting the best out of people- a quality that I wish I had more of most days. You are constantly reminding me of what is truly important in life. Because of you I find ways to take joy in the smallest things. It’s funny that my job is supposed to be to teach you everything but you always end up teaching me more.

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I’m thankful for having had this year to spend every day with you. Every morning I was able to wake up next to you and see that beautiful smiling face and every night I have put you to sleep. We have spent our days together learning and playing and there is nothing better than that. Watching you become your own person has been amazing and I know it will continue to be in the many years to come. Next year, you will have a little sibling here to play with, but I hope that you know you will always and forever be my baby. I will always think of you as that little angel who wouldn’t let anyone else hold him just wanting to stay cuddled in my arms. I hope you stay a mama’s boy forever and ever. I have never been more proud of you than I am today. You are my sunshine and I love you. Happy Birthday, Tristan.

Love,

Mama <;3

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Things That Haven’t Changed Since I Was Pregnant

Pregnancy is such an amazing time. I was lucky that mine was fairly pleasant and I had no complications.  I loved my pregnant belly and all the cute maternity clothes that I could wear.  I loved eating anything and everything in sight and not feeling guilty about it. I loved that, for once, people were staring at my belly and not my huge boobs. I loved having a butt that filled out jeans -even if they were ugly maternity jeans.

Then my baby arrived and I was in a world of pure bliss. I could care less what I looked like (and this is still the case on most days). I wasn’t really concerned about losing the “baby weight” which was incidentally a whole lot more than the whopping 8 pounds 3 oz that my baby boy weighed when he was born. The way my body had changed didn’t seem to bother me as much as I expected it to before I gave birth.  I guess I had too much other stuff to worry about. Like taking care of a human being other than myself 24/7.

when my boy was just a little peanut

Now that I have an almost 18 month old (gasp! it kills me to write that), I have noticed that there are more than a few things that really haven’t gone back since being pregnant.

My Baby belly

This is the most common and obvious. It’s just so cute when your about 6-7 months pregnant and you have this perfectly round little baby belly.  I really enjoyed mine.  I’m not sure what I expected it to look like after pregnancy.  I guess I thought I would be one of those freaks of nature whose belly went right back to normal after childbirth with no stretch marks. Turns out I was wrong.  I don’t think my pre-baby stomach and I will never meet again.  I’ve come to terms with it. Maybe someday I’ll have the time and dedication to actually exercise my way back to it but I don’t think that day will come anytime soon.

7 months prego…the beginning of the end

Cravings

My husband was the best when it came to going out to store at any time of the day or night when I “craved” something during my pregnancy. Probably because he liked to eat just as much as I did. After almost and year and a half of not being pregnant, I’m still constantly sending him out the store for something to snack on. This leads me to believe that pregnancy “cravings” are nothing but a cop out to eat whatever the hell you want because you are feeling miserable and self indulgent. I haven’t stopped. It would probably cancel out my baby belly issue if I did but, oh well. Junk food makes everything better.

hmmm…i wonder where he got his sweet tooth?

Shoe Size

I didn’t experience this personally but I know quite a few mamas who did. The awesome phenomenon of your feet growing during pregnancy- and never going back afterwards. As if it isn’t bad enough that you can’t wear any of your super cute (and usually expensive) shoes during pregnancy because your feel are achy and swollen, then they don’t fit you anymore after the baby is out.  Sometimes mom life just isn’t fair.

These feet are WAY cuter than any mom feet I’ve ever seen anyway

Constantly Tired

I remember back when I first found out I was pregnant. The only textbook “symptom” I experienced was extreme exhaustion. I would nap during the day and go to bed at 7pm almost every night during the first trimester. After my baby was here I was constantly up throughout the night nursing him and most nights I still am. I’ve learned how to function pretty well on no sleep and probably wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I was well rested. It does help though that I can actually have coffee in the morning now. I think being tired just goes with the territory of being a mom. God help me if I have another baby and have to abstain from caffeine again.

Catching up on sleep with the bubs

So Boobalicious

You know how women look forward to having big boobs when they get pregnant? Well, I was never one of them. It was actually something that I dreaded since my were already ginormous to begin with. I couldn’t possibly imagine them getting any bigger but my pregnant body made it possible.  I had also heard from many mamas that after you stopped nursing, they would shrink up smaller than they were before pregnancy. To most women this seems awful and unfair but to me it seemed fabulous.  I’m still waiting for this to happen. I’m down to nursing only a couple times a day but have seen no such change in size. Why couldn’t I have just kept my big butt that I gained during pregnancy? That butt disappeared the exact moment my son was born. We always want what we don’t have.

clearly, a boob man at heart

Pregnancy changes you forever in more ways than one. Is it crazy that I can’t wait to be pregnant again? They say no two pregnancies are the same. Maybe with the next one my feet will grow but my boobs will shrink. That sounds like a fair trade to me.

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A young Honey Nut fan

Did I mention that my Cheerio-loving kid is famous? Next stop? Hollywood.

A young Honey Nut fan.

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Doing What I Swore I Wouldn’t- Crying It Out

Things have changed in the past few months at my house. I have done something that I never thought I would do and it has been the hardest thing I have yet to do in my short time as a mom.  I resorted to the “cry it out” method of sleep training after trying countless other ways to get my son to sleep on his own.  I have become that mother that I thought I never would- and guess what? Things are good. My son still seems to love me just as much as before and shows no signs of physical or emotional damage. And the most important part is: I chose to do this because I felt it was the right time, my son was ready to handle it, and it worked for us- not because anyone told me to. Oh and I should add, I still let him sleep with me.

Napping on mama

Sleep training and cosleeping are topics that are very near and dear to my heart. They are what fueled me to start blogging. My first-ever post (which you can read here ) dealt with my frustration and anger resulting from friends, doctors, relatives and even strangers all feeling the need to tell me that “cry it out” was the only way to get my baby to sleep well and the sooner I did it, the better.  I love cosleeping and I have absolutely nothing negative to say about it. My husband and I still bring our son into bed with us when he wakes up in the night.  We love to cuddle with him and want to savor every minute that we can.  However, around 15 months I knew something had to give regarding our sleeping arrangements.  My son would only sleep on me (and by on I mean latched onto my boob). I knew that he needed to be able to at least go to sleep and nap in his crib on his own. I needed to be able to get things done while he slept.  So, we finally tried the only thing that we hadn’t tried: crying it out.

The first day was horrific. I started the process during naptime which was probably not a great idea. He stood in his crib crying for almost three hours. He was so exhausted and was falling in and out of sleep while standing. He refused to lay down. It broke my heart into a million pieces. I felt like a bad mom.  The second day I decided I would just let him cry like this at bedtime and ease into napping in the crib later. It took about a week of him crying for a good while when I put him in the crib but after that it finally got better. He would actually just go to sleep when I left the room. I couldn’t believe it. I was so proud of him (and myself) and relieved that the hardest part was behind us.

Sleeping standing up in the crib

That being said, after about 2 months of this routine he continues to wake up and cry for me between 1-3 a.m. And that is when I take him into bed with me. I’m sure this goes against all the rules for the die-hard cry it out supporters. I’m sure they would all say to just let him cry and he will get the picture. Well, I don’t want to do that and I make my own rules. I  really love cosleeping, I just can’t go to bed with him at 7:30 when he needs to sleep. So,  I’ve found a happy medium between cosleeping and having him in his crib and it seems to be working for everyone right now. We still get plenty of cuddle time.

Daddy and T cosleeping

We just started him napping in the crib this week and it seems to be going well. He’s already sleeping for about an hour by himself  before he wakes up crying “mama” which is a major improvement from before. I won’t lie, it does make me sad that he isn’t napping on my anymore. He’s growing up so fast. Naptime was our special time where I could hold him and time seemed to stand still. But, I know its important for him to be able to soothe himself to sleep and napping in his crib also leaves some time for me to get things done around the house.  It’s a win-win.

Hanging out in his mama’s crib

Of course, when going through this transition I received much of that annoying and unsolicited feedback from people that want to feel as if they know it all. They say things like  “It’s about time” or my personal favorite “You wouldn’t have this problem if you had done this when he was younger.” Well, I can honestly say that I am glad I waited until I felt he and I were emotionally ready to deal with the “sleep training”. I don’t regret one single minute of the time I spent allowing him to sleep on me or going to bed early to be near him. That is time that I will never get back.  I will always have those sweet memories. Those moments will no doubt be some of the sweetest of my life. I will always feel confident that my infant felt nurtured by my side and slept sound in my arms. I don’t consider his sleeping with me to be a problem.

He still loves me❤

I’d like to add that I have nothing against parents who choose to let their children cry it out at a younger age or those who never resort to using this method at all. As my husband loves to say, “different strokes for different folks.”  I would never pretend to know everything about parenting or try to tell someone what I think they should or shouldn’t be doing with their child. If nothing else, this experience has taught me to never say never when it comes to parenting. I thought for sure that I wouldn’t have to let my baby cry it out but in the end that turned out to be our only option. As far as I can tell he has come out of it unharmed and happy. I’m glad that I tried something new and made it work for us.

 

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